Film review: FADING GIGOLO

Directed by John Turturro

6/10

Woody Allen is both a blessing and a trap. You don’t expect to put him into your film and retain any trace of identity. And you sure as hell don’t expect that if you give him the leading part. He does that old neurotic trick, says a good joke, sucks up all the space from the screen and makes Fading Gigolo a second-rate Woody Allen pastiche.

And yet it is Woody Allen who saves this film from being an all-out bloodless disaster. He is alive. He breathes. He says stuff. He even has two or three decent (if vaguely familiar) jokes. Rest of the cast (and this can also apply to the film itself) is generally solipsistic. Sharon Stone doesn’t really do anything and Vanessa Paradis is duller than death.

John Turturro (who’s directing his fifth film here) is better, but only marginally. He plays a quiet New York florist, Fioravante, who is encouraged by Woody Allen’s character (failed used bookstore owner turned unlikely gigolo) to participate in a ménage à trois involving the latter’s dermatologist Dr. Parker. The gigolo trade that then ensues is an intriguing Allen-esque idea, one that – by all means – has lots of potential. And there are sparks here, bits and pieces of a well-written script that should but doesn’t.

Because I honestly do not care. Half the time Fading Gigolo feels numb and fails to engage. And when it does, it’s not through the virtues of a strong screenplay or great acting or Turturro’s exciting filmmaking. It’s because Woody Allen appears within the frame and shakes things up by simply doing his thing. No magic involved. 

Fading Gigolo feels like a very shaky, uncertain film that is only slightly above average. It doesn’t quite realise what to do, how to balance seriousness with humour, vulgarity with charm. It doesn’t know how to be convincing. Whereas John Turturro is the one person who should know how to be convincing. After all: when you do Jesus, you do the Jesus.

SONG OF THE WEEK #163: Mirel Wagner - "Oak Tree"

More like a song of the year, really. "Oak Tree", taken from Mirel's recently released second album (When The Cellar Children See The Light Of Day), is so strikingly simple it leaves no room for a second opinion. 

Album review: U2 - Songs Of Innocence

Lowlights: none

10/10 (rating and review sponsored by Apple Inc.)

What fascinates me most about U2 is how incredibly fresh they always sound. Year in year out. Take “Iris (Hold Me Close)”. Have you heard a better song this year? Have you heard a song with bigger balls? That ringing guitar sound they produce after 30 seconds of exciting, Coldplay-inspired vocalising? It’s a sound they have never done before. Not even on Joshua Tree, at the absolute peak of their creative powers, would they come close to such awesomeness.

Why not Songs Of Brilliance though? Why the false modesty? Why the understatement? So much humility hiding behind the beautifully shaped sunglasses... Greatest bands come back because they have a lot to say. And boy are U2 brimming with ideas. There’s just so much happening during “Song For Someone” that even Chris Martin should feel humbled and wish he’d made Ghost Stories an even more challenging album.

We open with “The Miracle (Of Joey Ramone)”. I’m sure Joey Ramone would have been delighted to appear in the title of a U2 song. Obviously that’s a dream come true kind of situation for anyone, especially for Joey. The guy would have sung “Life’s A Gas” to that. And “Every Breaking Wave” is even better. It’s one of those songs where you absolutely can’t choose which is better: the blood-pumping verse melody or the sheer originality of the chorus. 

And “Sleep Like A Baby Tonight”? Bono’s falsetto is heavenly. As far as U2 ballads go – this can rival all-time classics like the subtle emotional powerhouse that is “One” from Achtung Baby.

“This Is Where You Can Reach Me Now” mentions soldiers and is therefore their most impressive political statement since “Sunday Bloody Sunday”. And I’d be hard pressed to think of a more climactic finale than “The Troubles” which effectively turns my heart into a dirty old rag over the course of its super-charged, intensely melodic four minutes forty-seven seconds. Alas, the album is not perfect. The insanely catchy “Volcano”, for instance, is only three minutes long, and that’s a crying shame for a song that rocks so hard. I wish the groove would go on forever. 

Phenomenal album. I’m not quite prepared to say it is their best (so many classics to choose from), but if you need proof that Bono’s musical talent far outstrips his human rights activism and charity work, you get it here and you get it now. What else can I say? Songs Of Innocence is almost as good as the new iPhone. 

Film review: UNDER THE SKIN

Directed by Jonathan Glazer

9/10

Under The Skin is Scarlett Johansson versus the city of Glasgow. For me, a mouth-watering proposition.

This film is unsettling, bizarre, utterly fascinating. I can only imagine three types of people who would wish to see it: aliens, weirdos and movie critics. Possibly Scarlett Johansson fans, but that depends on whether they can tolerate a Glaswegian accent. As for Johansson herself, I think she should be applauded for starring in what is essentially a non-commercial project for a few left-field festivals.

The synopsis, if in fact there is any need for that, would not make too much sense. Johansson is a girl riding in a posh car through random grim Scottish streets picking up random grim (some are, indeed, very grim) Scottish guys who go for her looks like disbelieving flies would go for an open can of raspberry jam in the middle of an abandoned house. She seduces them and they ‘follow her into darkness and are submerged in an abyss of liquid’ (if you can trust Wikipedia on this one). It’s when odd becomes normal. You have to accept what you see.

Of course Johansson’s character is a twist, an allegorical statement, but there is also something almost hilarious about her driving around Scotland and trying to engage in casual conversations. It just feels so real. It’s like Johansson is genuinely bewildered by what is going on around (which is a bit like this, but without the adrenaline). Though in the end, it might not be so easy to tell – who is alien and who is not. The ending is surreal but also direct and hard-hitting and leaves little room for imagination. Imagination was what came before. 

Under The Skin is definitely a bit of a mind-fuck, but it is done with so much style and genuine, engaging oddness that you’re more than willing to hallucinate to whatever’s thrown at you. Crying infants, neurofibromatosis, empty skins. This film unsettles your senses, and does it on purpose and with a great deal of relish. It goes for your guts, whether you have them or not. Challenging and visually impressive. Smart, too. This is great cinema.  

SONG OF THE WEEK #162: Blur - "Blue Jeans"

Scotland voted for blue jeans the other day. This song exhales so much aural bliss and weary melodic charm that I feel like I'm on the verge of fainting. Getting back to Scottish referendum though: "Most shocking statistic of the night: 95% of No voters were 'pleased' to find U2 album in their iTunes." The statistic was kindly provided by John Niven.

Favourite albums: THE EVANGELIST (2008) by Robert Forster

And a river ran, and a train ran, and a dream ran…

I’d like to come out with guns blazing and make some sweeping statement about how The Evangelist is the best album released this century. I’d like to say how you are a fool if you have never heard this album and an even bigger fool if you don’t like it. I’d like to say that God himself won’t help you if “Demon Days” doesn’t make you a slightly better person. In reality, this album is so obscure and understated that it doesn’t really matter what I say. And also, I have just said it all anyway.

2008, I don’t get that year. It feels close and yet so far away. Close – because it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that Grant McLennan has been gone for eight years now. Far away – because music-wise Robert hasn’t released anything substantial since The Evangelist. And yet one can only imagine how hard it is for him to write music in a world without Grant. Even in the 90’s, when they released a string of largely underappreciated solo albums, they were operating within each other’s sight. It was, you felt, just a means to a new beginning. Which came in 2000 with The Friends Of Rachel Worth, a record that demonstrated once and for all what a comeback album should sound like.

The songs that make up The Evangelist were meant for a new Go-Betweens album, and that’s a disturbing thought. It was produced by the same people (Mark Wallis and Dave Ruffy) who produced 2005’s Oceans Apart. And perhaps the most poignant thing of all: The Evangelist has three last songs/melodies written by Grant McLennan. The melodic genius of “Demon Days”, so disarming in its heart-wrenching simplicity. The upbeat “Let Your Light In, Babe” that – I guarantee you – is one of the greatest ways to start a new day. The fast and bittersweet “It Ain’t Easy” whose violin near the two-minute mark is one of the most emotional moments in popular music. Lyrically, Forster dives for your heart.

Wallis and Ruffy don’t try to recreate the flashy, colourful production of Oceans Apart. For all its rich instrumentation (much of it is provided by Adele Pickvance and Glenn Thompson whose album from 2012 should be in your collection), The Evangelist does feel very understated. The charismatic minimalism of the opening “If It Rains” is the depth of Forster’s songwriting fully exposed. “A Place To Hide Away” is basically Robert strumming his acoustic guitar to a pretty three-chord tune and clever escapist lyrics. There’s also the wistful title track drenched in delicate orchestration rather than memorable vocal hooks. There’s the anthemic “Don’t Touch Anything” that alternates huge organ sound with unforgettable lyrical gems (the glove line is especially priceless). There are two more brilliant pop songs in “Pandanus” and “Did She Overtake You”, and that’s about it. 

But not quite. Right when you think every possible peak has been reached, along comes “From Ghost Town” and haunts you down to your very guts. Christ if The Evangelist is to be his last album, it is some way to say goodbye. I’d give it all, though, to have another album from him. Robert Forster is one of the world’s very few artists able to prove that pop music can take on a personality. And vice versa. The Evangelist is his most fully realised statement.

SONG OF THE WEEK #161: Robert Forster - "I've Been Looking For Somebody"

Danger In The Past (1990) cover photo is a brilliant James Joyce stylisation. The original picture was taken in Zurich in 1915 and showed Joyce play some kind of an Em variation.  

The album itself, Forster's first after the Go-Betweens' split-up, is a masterpiece. From the classic opening verse of "Baby Stones" to the elegiac beauty of "Justice" - it's all you should know about charismatic pop songwriting. And "I've Been Looking For Somebody" is where words fail you completely.

Album review: ROBYN HITCHCOCK - The Man Upstairs

Highlights: The Ghost In You, San Francisco Patrol, To Turn You On, The Crystal Ship

8/10

This is a late period Hitchcock album. ………… ……. …………… ……………… ………. . ………………. ………………. … .. …… … ………….. …. ……………. ………….. …….. .. . ……….. …. .. . ……………………. ………….. … ……….. ……….. …. . …….. …. .. some French singing ……….. …….. ……………………… …. . …………………. …… …….. ……….. … .

…………. ………… .. ……………… ………. . ………….. .. …………….. . …………… ………. ….. . ………. …………… …………….. …. ……………. “San Francisco Patrol” is fantastic – in fact, one of his best ballads ever. ……………….. ……………… ……….. . ………….. ………….. ………………….. . …….. …………………….. ………… ……………… . ………………. ……….. out of ………………. …….. …………. ……….. . ……………. … .. ……….. … ………….. .. . ………………….. … ……….. ……… ……………… … . ………… ……….. ………….. . ……… a delightfully whimsical and, sadly, rather generic “Somebody To Break Your Heart” which …….. .. …………….. . …………… . …………… … …………… ………… . …………….. ……. ………….. ……………. ……….. . …. .. ……………. ………… acoustic guitar ……….. … ………… ……….. …………. . ………… .

............ .............. ... .............. ......... ........... impeccable taste and .......... ......... ........... .. ....... ............... ........... . ............. .............. ........... ..... ........... ........... .......... .. . never get tired of .... ................ . 

…. . ….. ..……….? …… ……… . ………….. ……….. . 

Overall ……… ………… .. …………. . ………….. ………… . …………… … . ……….. . ………… ……… ….. ………….. ……. ………………………. .. . …………… … …………. .. …………. … ……. ……….. . …… ......... among other covers, a masterful take on a classic Doors song. ……… …. …………… ………. ……… ………….. .. ……….. ……… ……….. ……………… …………… …. ………….. .. ……. this absolutely ………… album.

Album review: JACK WHITE - Lazaretto

Highlights: Would You Fight For My Love?, I Think I Found The Culprit

6/10

I guess we all know by now that Jack White is a very poor songwriter. He may do a ballad or he may do a full-fledged rocker, his melodies will always sound plodding and one-dimensional. And still you almost have to admire him for that, because it takes guts and extreme self-confidence – to do so much with so little.

And there’s so much going on here. The guest list of Lazaretto includes about three million people (and that is considering White’s multi-instrumentalism), and they all have something to contribute. Arranging, editing, playing, singing. The album has several designers, for Christ’s sake.

Let’s get it straight: all of these songs are sonically impressive and none of them are remotely bad. That said, “That Black Bat Licorice” is so derivative of White’s pseudo-melodicism that it actually becomes obnoxious. I’m all for the fiddle, I just don’t think it makes the song any better. “Entitlement” is just your average but expertly done country song. “High Ball Stepper” is a decent hard-rock instrumental full of colourful noise and technical brilliance and… that’s about it. The man is just lacking so much in the songwriting department. I do give in two or three times, though, and “I Think I Found The Culprit”, with its pounding piano notes and its wailing violin and its astonishing slide guitar, is just too overwhelming to put down. Plus, a well-written tune always helps. 

Behind all the technical prowess and Jack White’s unmistakable (and, frankly, grating) style, there’s just no depth to Lazaretto. For the love of God – I don’t see why I should care for something as generic and obvious as “Just One Drink”. The presentation may be fantastic, but his songwriting lacks any identity to be taken seriously. Jack is 0.1% inspiration and 99.9% perspiration. 

SONG OF THE WEEK #160: John Murry - "Southern Sky"

'Very few artists worth... a damn'. Indeed, John. 

Two years on, The Graceless Age (2012) still sounds like one of the best albums of the last ten years or so. Emotionally, it devours you as effectively as heroin devoured John Murry's face. He means it so much it almost becomes unbearable. And the interview at the end is one hell of a painful but illuminating watch. 

Album review: TIMBER TIMBRE - Hot Dreams

Highlights: Hot Dreams, Curtains!?, This Low Commotion, The New Tomorrow

8/10

There is a reason why Timber Timbre’s album covers are in black and white. And there is a reason why the cover of Hot Dreams has so much light to it. While this album does inhabit the familiar world of beautiful bleakness, it’s a little calmer, a little less rough around the edges than 2011’s Creep On Creepin’ On.

This band definitely does have a sound of its own. It’s dark and bluesy and yet it’s more than that. Hot Dreams is the sound of a nightmare that doesn’t scare you. It’s unsettling and yet somehow beautiful and even appealing. If there is a danger here it’s that the atmosphere will envelope you so effectively you will not notice how great the songs are.

I’d argue that the eponymous 2009 album had Taylor Kirk’s best songs, but this is still great, charismatic songwriting. Some of it sounds like it’s coming from the past – like the brilliant romantic ballad “Run From Me” that is this pretty but fairly unremarkable song from the old radio until the female vocals and the strings make it a minor Timber Timbre classic. “Hot Dreams” is more stylish romance, but it is never too smooth with this band. The arrangements of “Curtains!?” are unnerving and yet Kirk’s soft croon provides the perfect foil. The result is, as ever, intriguing. 

Timber Timbre’s albums have this monumental, timeless quality to them. They have depth and they have personality. This album will take you places. You won’t listen to it too often, Hot Dreams does bring on a rather bleak feeling, but every time you will play it you won’t resist its unique charms. 

Album review: MANIC STREET PREACHERS - Futurology

Highlights: Futurology, Let’s Go To War, The Next Jet To Leave Moscow, Divine Youth

8/10

The presentation is good. The cover looks lovely and the slight (very slight) stylistic change is welcome. Like any other album by the Manics, Futurology is an engaging listen. Nicky Wire is going through this never-ending state of self-parody (“Black Square” won’t fool anyone), but who cares anymore. James Dean Bradfield can still write a tuneful anthem in his sleep. The addition of a few friends, deplorable though it is, actually works. All nice and good. Let’s face it though: Rewind The Film had better songs.

Two good albums in two years sounds like a true feat by today’s standards. Futurology cuts down on last album’s relative melodic subtlety and goes for something more propulsive and immediate. It has a clever electronic twist to it and a certain post-punk edge. As they say, what’s not to like.

Well, if you let The Holy Bible day slip by like I did – nothing. Nothing at all. “Futurology” is a great statement of intent. The ‘nice marching song’ “Let’s Go To War” is either completely ridiculous or a classic. “The Next Jet To Leave Moscow” (note the lyrical pattern) is Bradfield’s effortless melodic brilliance that manages to survive on pretty much the same chord progression all the way through. “Sex, Power, Love and Money” is complete fucking bullshit, but I almost don’t mind if it follows the beautifully written, elegantly arranged, Georgia Ruth-sung ballad “Divine Youth”. Side two is not as bright. “Dreaming A City (Hughesovka)” is a decent instrumental, but a city is the city and the city is Donetsk – so it doesn’t have to be great. What follows may be a bit spark-less (“The View From Stow Hill” is sub-par), but God knows I’m pleasantly surprised to hear Green Gartside’s voice in “Between The Clock and The Bed”. 

Otherwise – German singing, “Helter Skelter” and Malevich. Good album. Note though that Luke Haines did this kind of thing back in 2009 and did it better. Also, Nicky Wire should have written lyrics for “Mayakovsky”. I feel a little short-changed.