Thursday, 1 January 2015

LIST #1. Putdowns.

As Noel Gallagher put it: “You can go around the world and say you respect an artist a thousand times a day in a hundred different magazines and it won’t get printed. Call somebody a cunt once…”. 

These are five greatest musical putdowns.

#5. Bill Drummond – “Julian Cope Is Dead”

Target: ...

Julian Cope is dead, I shot him in the head…

Better than “Bill Drummond Said”. And believe you me, Bill Drummond’s The Man is one of the best albums you know nothing about.

#4. Half Man Half Biscuit – “Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”

Target: Peter Doherty.

If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation, don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations…

Genius. From Achtung Bono. Quite simply, there was no way Half Man Half Biscuit could not be on this list.

#3. Pavement – “Range Life”

Target: The Smashing Pumpkins.

I don’t understand what they mean, and I couldn't really give a fuck…

This is one of those casual putdowns. The song is not really about The Smashing Pumpkins. 

#2. John Lennon – “How Do You Sleep?”

Target: guess who.

The only thing you did was yesterday…

Interestingly, Lennon, Harrison and Starr all had an anti-Macca song. Nothing can touch “How Do You Sleep?” though. And, for the record, better than “Another Day”.

#1. Edwyn Collins – “North Of Heaven”

Target: Guns n’ Roses


Another casual putdown… It’s not the only word Edwyn uses in this song, but it has to be the deadliest. God I love him.

Happy New Year!


  1. Oooh. You fucked up the order, but otherwise perfect. "See also Mary Hopkin, she must despair"... Best band ever.

    1. You only busk when it's Christmas.

    2. I would have saved £14 that I just splashed out on your second album...

    3. Ah well you've got a shit arm and that's a bad tattoo.